As my wife will attest, I sometimes have a short fuse when it comes to service and competence. I’m not one who tolerates being given the run around or not being provided with the service I am paying for. It may well stem from my earlier working years of customer service in supermarkets and video stores – I took great pride in being really good at my job and when others don’t, it shits me no end.

Lately I feel as though I am being tested; pushed and prodded by fools who want me to explode with rage at their stupidity. In his book “How to be good”, Nick Hornby’s male lead is an angry man who had a newspaper column where he rants about the nincompoops he’s surrounded by. I DON’T WANT TO BE THAT MAN, but I feel like I’m being forced to. For both catharsis and the sake of keeping this puppy a little fresh, here are the reasons I am shitty:

Real estate agent
We moved into a new home 3 weeks ago and made arrangements for the phone to be turned on that day. Telstra came and tried to connect it for us but they weren’t able to as the cabling between the house and the street was either not there, or faulty. So we made the real estate agent aware of this, and it’s only two days ago that they told us the problem had been figured out and arranged to be fixed (on Monday, I am told). In that time, I’d sent emails galore, left plenty of messages and been short on the phone a few times. Realtor staff have been on leave and their colleagues ignored me. 3 weeks since we raised it and we are still at the ‘almost’ stage of having the home phone (and therefore internet) on. Pathetic.

Newspapers
When organising utility connections for the new place, I also arranged for ‘The Age’ and ‘The Weekend Australian’ to be delivered on weekends. I bought them most weekend days anyway so thought it might be nice to read them over brekkie and while still in my PJs. Three weeks later, neither paper has arrived. ‘The Age’ have at least been honest and ‘made an error’ on two occasions and are sorting it out and crediting me for the missed weeks. Rupert’s mob at ‘The Australian’ though, haven’t replied to my two emails and their call centre is closed on weekends! Next weekend I will be away so it may turn out that the first delivery of the papers isn’t able to be enjoyed!

Baby’s cot
Two weeks ago, my wife and I paid for and ordered a cot for our baby. It was the perfect cot and we loved it. When we paid, we were told it wasn’t in stock but could be ordered and would be here in a couple of weeks. I had also promised my three-year-old nephew (who loves handyman work and seems now to be warming to the idea of a new cousin) he could come over and help me put it together. So I call the store this morning and ask if it’s in and when I could come and pick it up. The lady tells me it hasn’t come in yet and asks when the baby is due. I tell her September and she says “it should be in by then”. After picking my jaw up off the ground, I tell her we were told it’d be here in 2 weeks and ask for a more definite timeline of arrival. She can’t give me one and I say that the 2 week order was a big reason we paid in full for it and can’t understand why she won’t give me a timeline of “1 month” or “6 weeks”. She apologises for the false advice we received and says she’ll inform the manager of my complaint. I’m asked to call back on Monday to speak with ‘the ordering person’ who’ll be able to give me a more definite timeline. I hang up in disgust.

One of the above things would piss me off (and I think quite justifiably) but for all three to be happening at once, it just blows my mind. I’m sure everyone wonders at times whether they’re a part of a ‘Truman Show’ type conspiracy; recent events make me think twice! Just kidding.

But some people shouldn’t be in time-sensitive and service-related enterprises – cause they’re shit!